Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Mendicantus Bagpiperus





Native caledonian, wild in origin but increasingly seen in urban and suburban settings.




Best seen: weekdays in city centres, weekends in hotel lobbies and banqueting suites. Thrives in tourist honeypots, laybyes, car parks, border posts, wedding receptions and corporate bashes.




Mates twice a season each January; 1st (Hogmanay) and 25th (Burns Night). Otherwise a loner. Tends to never leave the family nest, i.e. lives with mother.




Is approachable: mostly harmless.


Likes: cash.

Dislikes: stong winds and rain.



Is known to mate with sub-species: drummers, bass guitar players, singers. This is to be avoided.



Do say: How much for a photo?




Don't say: Hello, I'm from the Inland Revenue. (Also good advice when approaching farmers).

No comments: